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3.17.15

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   Yesterday we did a lot of driving. We went to a sweet village and to a school. We also went into the city.  Cap Haitien.     It was filled with hopeless and angry people. There was so much trash. The emotion was difficult for me to filter, because there was so much of it. People in the city must be hard to reach.  They have closed their hearts and must feel as though they have been forsaken.     Today we go back to the school to see the precious students, and to the same village.  Beaujoint.   In Beaujoint we tried cacao seed, and sugar cane! When the kids offered me the cacao seed, I accidentally took the seed that someone else already sucked on. Everyone had a good laugh and made fun of me. At first they did not want to share the cane, they wanted to sell it. But eventually one of the boys went and got some for us. The sugar cane and the cacao were delicious. I miss everything about home....
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3.16.15

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I am starting my second day in Haiti with a terrible headache. I hope it goes away.  I made it through yesterday, and rather enjoyed "dying to myself" although I think the cost is this pain.  There is so much to tell about; to take in. I don't even know where to start.   The traffic, perhaps? We ride in the back of a truck, sitting or standing, and the wind blows all around us, and on every side are motorcycles passing... trucks honking. At one point we thought a man was going to be squished between ours and another truck.  And there really are goats grazing everywhere! They are tied up, or walking free, as well as cows and chickens. There are livestock everywhere! I think it must be hard for folks to know who the animals belong to.  The airport is a tiny little thing, decorated with local paintings and gourd shells. There is a lot of trash, but it is not stinky like garbage. Haiti smells like a barbeque grill, because coal is their primary ...
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3.15.15

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   We are leaving Miami right now.  I made it through the night!  I left home, the kids, Peter.   I am proving to myself that I am stronger than I think.   Apparently the next step of the way is where people swarm you at baggage claim. They will try to grab my bag so that they can get paid to carry it. I will have to tell them "no" and hang on to my suitcase for dear life.  Heaven help me.   Once that is over maybe the "scary" will be out of the way for now. I am grateful for the company of my sweet friend, and the encouragement of my pastor.  I am just doing this ten seconds at a time.  
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3.11.15

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       I am so, so, scared. Today is Wednesday, and we leave on Saturday night.  I am afraid that something bad will happen.   I am trying to leave everything in order.      My priorities are mixed up. Wouldn't I want to spend as much time as I could with the kids? Instead I am cleaning everything in sight.  I just want to be gone and over with it.  Here's to trying to rest in each moment, and to taking it all in. 
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3.3.15

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   The time for me to leave for Haiti is coming very close. I am occupied with constant, distracting thoughts of things I must accomplish in order to leave "well" with all I need to ensure my comfort, and to be sure I can leave my family without thoughts of what I did not do for them before I left. Most of all, what I am worried about is that first day.   Sleeping on the plane, and then jumping right into Haiti.      I hope we... mostly me, let everyone else worry about themselves... can get enough rest to make it through the whole day.  I don't know what God has in store for me, but I hope I am changed.  I hope He will stir in us, and make us stronger in how we serve Him.  
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2.15.15

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   We are four weeks away from our leave date for Haiti! I am so excited I can't stand it! Yesterday I bought shoes and other clothes to take... I hope I will be prepared, stress free.  I hope I have something to contribute.  I hope I am not viewed as dead weight.  I hope that every second I am being stretched and refined I will grow closer to Jesus.  I hope that I will leave my family in the hands of the one who should be holding them.  I hope they grow in Him too!    Now is the time to truly prepare myself and the kids for when I am gone.
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1.15.15

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      I am nervous about the other people on the Haiti team. What if they don't like me?  What if they are mean to me?      Doesn't that sound silly? We are all grown-ups... past that time in life when we are mean to each other. Or are we? It takes so much for me to be around people for just a few hours.  How will I do it for a week?     We will all be tired from the first moment we leave our homes. Most of these people are bringing some family members with them. I just realized that this is the first time in my life I will be without a "security blanket." First I had my mom or my sister, and as soon as I left home I had Peter. What am I getting into? 
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